Being On Purpose
Is fear creeping in on you again? When you’re experiencing the physiological “side effects” of fear, what do you do? Do you inadvertently hold your breath? Do you stop eating consistently? Do you bite your nails? Do you phone a friend? Do you . . . ?
What if FEAR is wearing a mask to make you THINK it’s fear, but it’s not actually?
That sneaky fear. . . always playing tricks on us.
You should probably watch just to find out what my drag queen name would be!
It started with the avocado incident; slicing open my own finger is always* laugh-worthy to me.
But it wasn’t until right after we two friends posed for the above super-imposed shot “in front of” the Empire State Building that I noticed it: a spray of blood just below the words, “I ❤ Hass” on my white t-shirt. Oh, how we laughed and laughed and waited in line to distract the sales rep while we took this contraband image of our own picture.
New York City never looked so funny to me as it did that night from the top of it all.
When you find yourself at the bottom of your emotional ladder you might feel sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, resentful, hurt, overwhelmed, or judgmental.
Fast track yourself toward the top of your emotional ladder by laughing. Laugh intentionally. And laugh quickly. Find something that is guaranteed to put a smile on your face and do it immediately.
Some of my favorite easy laugh options include:
Take some time right now to jot down your known methods for inducing laughter, and the next time you find yourself down, go straight to your list to get yourself back up.
If we’re going to laugh about it later, we might as well laugh about it now. — Dr. Mary Hulnick, Ph.D.
*Don’t worry; I have many stories I won’t be sharing with you in this forum.
Let’s play a little game of pretend. Picture with me that your emotional life is lived on a ladder.
If at the top of the ladder are joy and happiness, then you’ll find things like fear and obligation hanging out at the bottom.
In order to “win” this pretend game I just made up, you’ll need to be aware of some rules:
The best sales advice I can give you is to sell from the top of the ladder. If you come from a place of fear and worry and needing the sale (bottom of the ladder), then your prospect intuitively knows it and won’t buy. Ever.
Move yourself up the ladder. Come from joy and pure service (not a variation on a theme of service) and you’ll astonish them every time.
*Four fast tracks:
Sometimes we feel stuck.
It’s completely and totally normal to feel stuck sometimes.
Please be kind to yourself if you’re looking down and experiencing stuck.
Please also don’t forget to remember that stuck is only temporary.
Here are some questions I like to use with a “stuck” client in our work to “unstuck” them and if they’re useful, please answer them for yourself.
Note: Before these questions can be useful for you, slow down your thoughts and don’t attach meaning to the feeling of stuck that you’re experiencing. It’s important that you not be in a place of judgement against yourself that “stuck” is bad and therefore nothing good can happen. Open yourself up to the possibilities these questions can provide for you as you answer them from the remarkable resource of your own resourcefulness and knowing.
Is it unusual that I’m bringing in a man to talk about women? Not this man, methinks 🙂
What can you look forward to learning?
The woman who knows her power and isn’t afraid of being and showing herself to the world — the world changes because of her
That value, sovereignty, inheritance resides within each of us — and only our stories get in the way
Unless and until I love and value myself, will I be the sovereign of my life and when I step into that value I will bless everyone around me because I don’t need them to be love because I already am love
Loving ourselves is such a deeply powerful experience and you’re the only one who can do it
How to Increase Your Power
Future Vision Exercise
Choosing YOU
Gary references both Steve Hardison & Steve Chandler, remarkable men who have impacted countless lives with their love and service.
Gary’s Bio
Besides women’s surf retreats, we create bespoke events for team building, leadership work, and executive groups: 3 day events in Malibu & 5 day events in Hawaii.
Gary works with highly-driven people to do that thing they want with all their heart, that thing they might not know how to describe yet. That thing that scares the hell out of them.
He challenges how his clients see themselves, think about themselves and believe in themselves. Gary firmly believes and lives the principle: when you change the way you think about yourself and you change the way you behave, your life WILL transform. He will never, ever let you forget what you tell him is important to you. When you are ready, he’ll be your Life’s Purpose Operations Manager, building your dreams together.
Lily likes to make things (like pickle fizzers and alien planet jumpers).
Lily likes making music and messes.
And Lily lives her belief that failing is only an opportunity to get back up again, that smiling is necessary, that traveling, exploring and making new friends are standard operating procedure, and that fun is waiting for her.
Only always.
What would you make, knowing pickle fizzers and alien planet jumpers have already been invented?
What music and messes are bottled up inside of you waiting to be unleashed?
What if failure is how you get there? What would that adventure look like in your world? Would you be collecting “No’s,” instead of “Yes’s”?
Smile — especially at the stuff that had you frowning yesterday.
Travel — to the ideas in your mind that excite you & keep imagining new ones.
Explore — ideas and options as if there are no bad or wrong ones.
Make new friends — particularly with someone you may not have noticed before today.
Create fun — because if you’re not having fun why are you doing it?
Always be a unicorn.
Always.
Do you believe your “decision maker” is broken?
When you don’t trust yourself to make decisions, you aren’t making any decisions because you’re not willing to make a choice for fear of risking making the wrong choice.
Full stop.
No decision is final and when you watch this video I’ll provide you with some different perspective on all the choices we get to make along the journey.
What is commitment? No, really. When you truly COMMIT to something — what does that look and feel like? In this video we’ll discuss that specific question AND I have a special gift for you at the end of the video!
When we are rigidly attached to an outcome we set ourselves up for failure. Events are just neutral; they have meaning only when we assign meaning to the event. We can choose responses, rather than being attached to an expectation of others’ behavior or an event.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles is the classic movie reference I make in this episode!
Once upon a time a week ago we discussed the idea that goals exist to serve you and not, as is popularly thought, to cause guilt, consternation or overwhelm in your world.
In the past (that place Dr. Seuss so brilliantly describes as “the waiting place” in his classic, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!), you may have set a lot of goals, or a couple of doozies at a minimum, possibly even written them down and you certainly shared your objectives with at least one other person, then promptly didn’t achieve whatever you set out to do.
You may even have engaged in some self-talk:
Why does any of this matter?
Land squarely in that space in which you create goals because of what they do for you, and you’ll be ready to reset your relationship with yourself.
The habit patterns you are building by keeping your commitments with you increase your capacity to make and keep the next commitment and the commitment after that.
I’m Not a Marathoner, BUT
Runners don’t start by running in a marathon; they gradually increase their capacity to run 26 miles, so by the time the day of the marathon arrives they know they can cross the finish line with confidence because they’ve been running the distance incrementally for months in advance.
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every other relationship in your life.
Keep your promises to you.