Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

Fast Track Tip #1

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Fast Track Tip #1

Avocados Are Trouble

It started with the avocado incident; slicing open my own finger is always* laugh-worthy to me.

But it wasn’t until right after we two friends posed for the above super-imposed shot “in front of” the Empire State Building that I noticed it: a spray of blood just below the words, “I ❤ Hass” on my white t-shirt. Oh, how we laughed and laughed and waited in line to distract the sales rep while we took this contraband image of our own picture.

New York City never looked so funny to me as it did that night from the top of it all.

Fast Track Tip #1

When you find yourself at the bottom of your emotional ladder you might feel sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, resentful, hurt, overwhelmed, or judgmental.

Fast track yourself toward the top of your emotional ladder by laughing. Laugh intentionally. And laugh quickly. Find something that is guaranteed to put a smile on your face and do it immediately.

Some of my favorite easy laugh options include:

  1. YouTube videos — they’re short and convenient for a quick pick-me-up
  2. Talking on behalf of my dog, Eli — seriously one of the funniest things I do (just ask me)
  3. Skipping — I was the champion skipper ages five AND six, no small feat I assure you
  4. The paperboy from Crazy Off Dead
  5. And the paperboy from While You Were Sleeping
  6. Basically the entire movie Elf — or this brilliant line will suffice
  7. Also, the entire movie The Emperor’s New Groove, but especially the Smash it With a Hammer! scene
  8. Hilarious Gandalf intervention — only Lord of the Rings fans need click this one
  9. Dramatic readings by the Muppets — what’s not to love about the Muppets?
  10. Reading my own Happy List — I keep a written daily record of things that make me laugh, smile, and that cause joy, and I’ve been tracking this for decades now.

Take some time right now to jot down your known methods for inducing laughter, and the next time you find yourself down, go straight to your list to get yourself back up.

If we’re going to laugh about it later, we might as well laugh about it now. — Dr. Mary Hulnick, Ph.D.

*Don’t worry; I have many stories I won’t be sharing with you in this forum.

Sell From the Top

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Sell From the Top

Let’s play a little game of pretend. Picture with me that your emotional life is lived on a ladder.

If at the top of the ladder are joy and happiness, then you’ll find things like fear and obligation hanging out at the bottom.

In order to “win” this pretend game I just made up, you’ll need to be aware of some rules:

  1. Your objective is to move yourself as far up the ladder as possible
  2. The more time you spend in the top half of your ladder, the better you’ll feel toward yourself and toward others
  3. All of your interactions with clients (family & friends) will have the best outcomes if the other “players” are also as far up their ladders as possible
  4. The only person you can move up or down the ladder is yourself
  5. There are four fast tracks* to the top of the ladder; you are free to use any of them alone or in combination

The best sales advice I can give you is to sell from the top of the ladder. If you come from a place of fear and worry and needing the sale (bottom of the ladder), then your prospect intuitively knows it and won’t buy. Ever.

Move yourself up the ladder. Come from joy and pure service (not a variation on a theme of service) and you’ll astonish them every time.

*Four fast tracks:

  1. Laugh
  2. Sing
  3. Dance
  4. Serve 

Your Inner Lily

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Your Inner Lily

Lily is a unicorn.

Lily likes to make things (like pickle fizzers and alien planet jumpers).

Lily likes making music and messes.

And Lily lives her belief that failing is only an opportunity to get back up again, that smiling is necessary, that traveling, exploring and making new friends are standard operating procedure, and that fun is waiting for her.

Only always.

What would you make, knowing pickle fizzers and alien planet jumpers have already been invented?

What music and messes are bottled up inside of you waiting to be unleashed?

What if failure is how you get there? What would that adventure look like in your world? Would you be collecting “No’s,” instead of “Yes’s”?

Smile — especially at the stuff that had you frowning yesterday.

Travel — to the ideas in your mind that excite you & keep imagining new ones.

Explore — ideas and options as if there are no bad or wrong ones.

Make new friends — particularly with someone you may not have noticed before today.

Create fun — because if you’re not having fun why are you doing it?

Always be a unicorn.

Always.

Flexibility

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When we are rigidly attached to an outcome we set ourselves up for failure. Events are just neutral; they have meaning only when we assign meaning to the event. We can choose responses, rather than being attached to an expectation of others’ behavior or an event.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles is the classic movie reference I make in this episode!

I’m Upset Because. . . .

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I'm Upset Because

Sarah told me the following story from her childhood and with her permission I’m sharing it with you.

Sarah’s mother, Mary, had prepared one of her usual delicious evening meals and invited the five hungry children to the table to eat. Not long after they sat down, Sarah’s father, Dan (who had made a choice to visit the pub after work rather than coming straight home), entered the kitchen through the back door.

Dan was visibly irritated to discover the family eating without him and started loudly verbalizing his displeasure. Quietly and without comment, Mary began opening the kitchen windows one by one as Dan continued his rant.

Suddenly, as if only just noticing his wife’s activity, Dan shouted, “Why on earth are you opening all the windows?!”

Unfazed, Mary sat back down at the table, casually picked up her fork and replied, “I want to be sure the neighbors know how upset you are!”

Each of us is responsible for our own emotions.

Upsets (“I’m upset because. . . “) only occur inside of us. No one else can ever upset you, or make you angry, or disappoint you, or make you sad, or cause any emotional response in you. That’s all you. Only you. Every single time.

You have a choice every single time you find yourself in an upset:

1. REACT and blame someone or something else and see if that really feels good to you. Does it make you feel any better sitting in that discomfort and pointing a finger, validating all the reasons it’s not possibly your fault?

2. Take a deep breath and look inside yourself first (before you start pointing fingers) and ask yourself what’s really triggering you in this moment? Then RESPOND with awareness of your internal issue that simply wants attention and resolution.

Pema Chodron said,

You are the sky. Everything else — it’s just the weather.

Take back ownership of your emotional well-being. Resolve whatever triggers your upsets. Dance because it’s raining and notice the sun’s refusal to shine has nothing to do with you.

008: Sing Out Loud

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Sing Out Loud

The All Arminda Virtual Show, episode 8

Singing a song out loud and with enthusiasm does something magical and moves us up our Ladder of Consciousness.

And nothing beats Buddy the Elf‘s wisdom on that one, folks:

The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.

If you haven’t seen my video about that ladder — now’s a great time to have a look!

Loving you,
arminda

007: Serving or Pleasing?

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Serving or Pleasing?

The All Arminda Virtual Show, episode 7

What would be the most useful way for you to show up in your relationships?

If your answer is about making the other person happy, you’re only going to be unhappy.

The only person who can make YOU happy, is YOU.

Happiness comes from the inside out and we can manufacture that from within and success follows. Every single time.

Are you out to get or out to give?

Is there a belief that needs to be dissolved in the way you’re showing up in your own life?

Loving you,
arminda

Headlights 101

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Headlights 101

My daughter recently got her own car and just before sending her off on her inaugural drive, we quickly ran through the obvious how-to checklist:

  • windshield wipers
  • defrost front AND back windows
  • headlights

Several weeks and many nights later, she mentioned to me that the headlights were so dim she couldn’t see the road without using her bright lights. She was scared to drive in the dark until the lights were fixed.

Together one night we sat in her car and she turned on the ignition, turned to me and gesturing through the front windshield said, “See?!”

“I see you haven’t turned on the headlights yet,” I replied.

“They’re on right now!” she insisted.

“Turn the dial again and see what happens,” I suggested.

Sure enough, with one additional turn of the dial the headlights flared and she exclaimed, “But those are the bright lights!”

“No, those are your regular lights. The high beams require a little extra effort to activate,” I laughed, thinking about her sneaking around with only her parking lights for guidance while there were other cars on the road, and as soon as she was alone, she would turn on her regular lights.

How many of us metaphorically drive around with our dim parking lights, unsure of how to turn on our regular lights or nervous to use our light in front of others?

You don’t have to drastically change your life, quit what you’re doing, leave your relationship, start your own business or relocate your family. You don’t even need to dust off your list of long-ago abandoned resolutions.

Just turn up your light where you are right now and see if things appear brighter because you are now shining one dial brighter than before.

allarminda.com | 2024