Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

Sunrise

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sunrise

Every single morning I wake to the sunrise. This is a new phenomenon for me, having recently moved to a new city with a new view. Shockingly, even without me witnessing it, the sun has still been rising every single day.

Last night I was out for my evening walk with Eli and happily playing my made-up game of surrender. The rules are simple: I don’t choose which direction to walk; I follow the crosswalk signals only and we eventually find our way back to our building. I’ve had so much fun wandering in this way, following the lights and learning all sorts of things about the downtown streets and where they might lead me. Except last night’s game took an interesting twist when I disobeyed my own rules.

Thirty minutes into our adventure and approaching our next intersection, I distinctly felt pulled in the opposite direction of the current walk indicator light, so I decided to mix things up a bit and waited for the light to change, then followed my intuition. Within a few minutes we happened upon a small group of people gathered together, lovely music was being sung, and there was an excited energy permeating the square. We paused our walk to take a closer look and a lovely woman asked if I would please take her picture. Taking strangers’ photos is one of my favorite things to do, so agreeing was easy, but there was something about her, something in her eyes, something she needed and couldn’t speak, and I asked if I could also please give her a hug?

She silently nodded and as I embraced her she began to gently cry and I held her, making it safe for her to feel whatever she was feeling. I soon learned more about my new friend and the source of her tears and how my crossing her path was a gift for her.

I consider my breaking of my own rules to follow the light inside of me (rather than placing a greater value on the walk signals) to have been the highlight of my day. I was able to turn a game of “what’s next” into an awareness that “who’s next” is much more important.

When I get distracted by my own invented significance and become so focused on what I’m doing and what I’m creating and where I’m walking it’s as if I’m existing in my own cloudy haze and I neglect to notice the sun is always still rising and giving light despite my personal clouds.

When I quiet my notion that my agenda matters and look up and look inward, my clouds disperse and I see my own light is always still shining and showing me what to do and what to create and where to walk and with whom to connect and what to say. I also notice that same light exists within everyone around me, whether they see it or not.

Positive psychology expert Shawn Achor has outlined five essential daily tasks that together comprise the formula needed to live happier and more productive lives. And number five on that list is: deliberately perform random or conscious acts of kindness once a day.

Shockingly, even without you acknowledging it, your internal light still shines every single day. Light up the world and disperse the clouds around you by consciously losing yourself in some daily acts of kindness.

Good things happen and lives are impacted when you intentionally shine your light.

loving you,
arminda

Create Tomorrow Today

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Creation has been a lot on my mind lately. The creation of our lives. Our futures. Our realities. Our now. And how our beliefs create the world around us.

We have within each of us the power to create whatever present and future world we wish to inhabit. We are the creators of our today and of our tomorrow.

How do we create something that we don’t believe exists?

Start believing it does.

Shawn Achor (my happiness crush) says:

Studies show that simply believing we can bring about positive change in our lives increases motivation and job performance; that success, in essence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy (The Happiness Advantage, 75).

Coach Michael Neill says you can make believe anything:

. . . we can change our experience of the world (and ultimately the world itself) by changing the way we choose to see it. . . . instead of always trying to align your beliefs with “reality,” it’s possible to align your beliefs with what you most want to create in your life. And when you consistently make believe in what you want, you can begin to create some pretty unbelievable results (Supercoach, 15,16)!

The greatest athletes and performers in the world will tell you they weren’t born talented; they created their talent by believing they could and in his bestselling book Wealth Warrior, Steve Chandler corroborates that sentiment with his reminder that “practice creates talent (115).”

Creating a new belief can be intimidating, or even scary, for some of us. You’re not alone.

Even Alice, from Lewis Carroll’s classic Through the Looking Glass, challenged the very notion of believing what Alice deemed an impossibility when the Queen chided her:

I daresay you haven’t had much practice. . . . When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Impossible only exists if you believe it does. You define impossible.

Me? I’d rather eliminate that word from my personal dictionary altogether.

Let yourself give in to this new belief. This creation notion. It’s very liberating.

Perhaps practicing believing the impossible before breakfast as the Queen suggests is a great idea, and before long you’ll recognize you’re no longer chasing after your dreams; you’re manufacturing them.

Choose you. Choose happy.

Happiness Crusade

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On February 13, 2012, I started a 21-day “dopamine challenge” here on this blog titled Creating Positive. Many of you joined me in that initiative (and it’s not too late to get started) because happiness is year-round and a lifetime journey. While there have been many changes in my life since I first penned that post, one thing is for sure: my heart is still full of gratitude. It’s so full that I keep writing out more and more. My list is growing and I’m filling up notebooks. Pages and pages of things for which I’m grateful and/or that make me smile and bring me happiness. My list is very personal and unique to my life, as is your list. This is the reason I can pick up one of my notebooks and open to any page and start reading through my list and immediately begin to smile as I am instantly transported to another day, place, and moment in time that ignited a spark of joy in my heart.

gratitude |ˈgratəˌt(y)o͞od|
noun
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness

happiness |ˈhapēnis|
noun
the state of being happy

Shawn Achor (whose TED Talk inspired me to start my own challenge) writes in his book The Happiness Advantage that

“. . . our attitudes and behaviors don’t only infect the people we interact with directly — like our colleagues, friends, and families — but that each indivdual’s influence actually appears to extend to people within three degrees. So when you. . . make positive changes in your own life, you are unconsciously shaping the behavior of an incredible number of people. . . . [T]here are nearly 1,000 people within three degrees of most of us. This is a true ripple effect — by trying to make ourselves happier and more successful, we actually have the ability to improve the lives of 1,000 people around us” (p201).

That’s empowering. To me, at least. And I love that by embracing the life I live I have the potential within me to positively impact the lives of thousands of other people. Thousands.

I can’t wait for happiness to find me like some elusive carrot forever dangling at the end of its proverbial stick. You will never reach it if that’s your aim. Your “I’ll be happy when _________ ” will forever evade you.

“Waiting to be happy limits our brain’s potential for success, whereas cultivating positive brains makes us more motivated, efficient, resilient, creative, and productive, which drives performance upward” (Achor 4).

Motivation? Efficiency? Resilience? Creativity? Productivity? Yes, please!

Happiness is now. Happiness is your choice. Happiness is within you.

Come on my happiness crusade and create positive in your life today, tomorrow and always! Will you join me?

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Creating Positive: Day 21 of 21

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When I was six years old, my parents gave me a copy of Holly Hobbie’s Cookbook for Christmas, and I knew I was destined to be the greatest chef in the world. I probably missed my calling by not attending culinary school, but this cookbook maintains a place of honor on my shelf, and there are two beloved recipes my entire family still uses from this well-worn, kitchen-stained resource. Tonight, as I pulled down the book to follow the cornbread recipe, it occurred to me that some things just get better with time, the more we practice them. Even though we have a recipe, or formula (whether it’s for cornbread or happiness), it still takes time to get our measurements just right. And what works for one person, may need a bit of tweaking for the next. I guarantee that the cornbread you eat at my house won’t taste anything like the cornbread my mother makes, even though, technically, we use the same recipe.

With respect to the Dopamine Challenge we’ve shared here together for the past 21 days, keep tweaking the formula. We all started by watching the same TED Talk by Shawn Achor, and we were given the same information and the same formula, but now it’s up to you to make it your own. Refine your methods and habits over time, and your definition of happiness will be exactly what you need for it to be. I can’t wait to hear your stories.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Conviction
  2. Guiding principles
  3. Early signs of spring
  4. Claire & the Reverence Butterfly
  5. Skyping with family
  6. Vince’s 100 million thousand saved kisses
  7. Poetry reading on a Sunday afternoon
  8. Holly Hobbie’s Cookbook – 1979 Christmas gift
  9. Giggles between my daughter & her best friend

Positive Experience

Claire is three, and sitting still is always a challenge, but to have succeeded is a personal victory to be celebrated. Please remember that as you read the following story.

At the conclusion of primary (children’s dedicated program and classes at church), all the children between the ages of three and eleven were gathered together with their class teachers, everyone sitting in their assigned rows, anxiously awaiting the closing song and prayer that would dismiss them to find their parents and returning home.

 

Uncharacteristically quiet, Claire sat on the front row with her hands folded in her lap. Bobbijean, in her role as the primary president, took a minute to publicly praise one particular primary member, who was sitting so reverently and quietly, that all the children should observe her piety. To show her appreciation for this young primary participant, Bobbijean gifted to Claire a butterfly made out of tissue paper.

Instantaneously, Claire leaped from her front row seat with screams of delight, clutching the butterfly by its attached string, and streaking around the primary room squealed with joy and amusement, to the sheer entertainment of the entire room, and the immediate dispersion of any reverence that may have been hovering prior to Bobbijean’s announcement. Claire ran from the primary room in search of a longer runway for her yet-to-be-airborne butterfly, and it took no fewer than three adults to corral her back to her class, although they were unsuccessful in their attempts. Claire and her Reverence Butterfly were free at last.

Creating Positive: Day 20 of 21

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There is something so personally gratifying about checking off items on a list. My weekend lists are always longer than I have the time to complete them, but a great effort is at least put forth. My personal favorite is when I can actually remove items from my house, and relocate them somewhere else. We (and I’m including all of you, too) possess an excess of stuff. I love going through the stuff, and pulling out items we no longer need, want, or use, and donating all of it. Two bags of clothing, and one box of dishes all found their way to new homes this afternoon, freeing up my cupboards and closets to welcome in the next round of occupants.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Conversation with Melanie
  2. “Free Time” to complete necessary tasks
  3. Challenges
  4. iMessage
  5. “Sleeping on it”
  6. Christie
  7. Gentle nudges from friends

Positive Experience

Christie, who is separated from me by three time zones, sent me a message as soon as she woke up this morning, demanding to know, “So, where’s today’s post, woman?!” My suggestion that she wait for it didn’t go over well with her because, apparently, she “missed [her] morning read” since my post wasn’t available first thing, and getting out of bed without it didn’t seem to be a viable option. She explained, “It’s part of my morning routine. I wake up, open my email, and read your post. Then I get out of bed.” Not willing to be the reason someone so dear to me couldn’t function, I immediately sat down to write out my penance, in the hopes that Christie’s day would instantly improve.

As we near the end of the 21 day challenge, I continue to be amazed at the far-reaching impact of this simple exercise, and for me, hearing from Christie this morning truly made my day. Thank you to each of you for continuing to read, to write to me, and to share with me how this challenge is impacting your life. I know all of our readers would love to hear about your experiences, so if you’re able and willing, please share some of your thoughts in the comment section.

Creating Positive: Day 19 of 21

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It’s no secret that I’ve been feeling a bit grumpier than usual this week because I haven’t been getting enough sleep. And, we all know it’s because Razor can’t hold it until 6am like the rest of us. But Razor doesn’t intentionally do anything to hurt, or to upset, or to anger, or to disrupt my life in any way. In fact, Razor has just one goal in life, and that is to bring joy, happiness, and love to the people he cares about most. When it was apparent to me that no amount of effort on my part to be productive was working, I chose instead to invest 20 minutes of my afternoon curled up on the couch with Razor. I’m not sure what the return on that investment is, nor am I going to try and quantify it. What I do know is that the far-reaching positive impact of having Razor in my life far outweighs any minor inconvenience a middle of the night potty break creates. Pets, and the indelible imprint they make on our lives, are on my mind today as my sister Julie’s heart is permanently marked with love.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate- done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Pinterest
  2. Snuggling with Razor
  3. Warm fire on a cold day
  4. My mother’s thoughts
  5. Teachers who focus on my daughter’s needs
  6. Dr. Debra Monroe‘s profound impact on my life
  7. L’s love of guitar
  8. The love Donkey brought to Julie
  9. Foggy night walks in the park

Positive Experience

My friend Cheryl, who champions all sorts of amazing introspective, reflective, and far-reaching discussions, started a 30-Day Photo Challenge earlier this week. Naturally, I opted in. Today’s weather was rather gloomy, and overcast, and the temperature had dropped significantly from yesterday’s 80, so my thoughts were centered around hot tea and being at home when I drove past a bush in the midst of its spring glory, oblivious to the fog, cooler temperatures, or complete lack of color within a three-mile radius. Since my intention for the photo challenge is to capture images that to me represent beauty, I had to have a picture. Standing in front of the bush, the fact that I was parked in a stranger’s driveway and walking across their front yard, simply melted away. My heart in that moment (I envision much like the Grinch’s) grew a little bit larger.

Creating Positive: Day 18 of 21

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Without sufficient rest I am Grumpy and Oscar the Grouch combined, and if you don’t believe me I have several people who will validate my claim. Sleep is underrated by most people, but never by me. If necessary, I could list “good sleeper” as a qualification on my resume. My daughter has always (with the exception of her earliest years when she had to eat during the night) understood that unless she is bleeding or vomiting, my sleep is not to be interrupted. And (partial confession), there was even one time when she actually met the latter qualification, and I still didn’t really wake up, but that’s another story for another time.

Razor, the Caped Crusader, has decided he has business outside the past seven days between 2:30-3:00 in the morning. At least he’s punctual. And, as it turns out, Razor does not listen to reason from this half-crazed sleeping being, who does NOT want to get up, grab my Fitbit (because John cannot beat me in steps, and even in the middle of the night I have my priorities), put on my shoes, get the flashlight and a bag, zip up my coat, and go outside!

All I’m suggesting is that in my effort to have a more positive outlook on everything, I am grateful I can go back to bed and fall asleep instantly, as if Razor’s biological break was just a bad dream.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. 80 degrees on March 1st
  2. Have I mentioned sunshine?
  3. I never go hungry
  4. My home office
  5. New business deals
  6. Movie quoting in real life
  7. Rachel
  8. Conscious thought
  9. Setting intentions
  10. 30 Day Photo Challenge
  11. Open spaces
  12. Sharing milestones with my daughter

Positive Experience

My daughter has been eyeing jean jackets for months, not-so-secretly hoping I’ll notice how much she wants one, and what a difference to her wardrobe possessing and wearing one will make. The price tags stagger me: $60.00, $45.00, $132.00! Are you kidding me? We’re talking about a jacket made out of denim, which up until the 1970s wasn’t even considered general fashion!

But I digress. Hannah is the one who sparked the idea, and Jessi Arrington’s TED Talk I watched last March inspires me. Tonight, L and I went to our neighborhood Goodwill store with one intention: to find a jean jacket. I’ll frame this experience by telling you I can NEVER find anything in a Goodwill store. I get that they sort things according to color, but that doesn’t really help me.

We walked into the store, and straight to a rack that had a jacket on it – and it was her size! We scoured the other racks, and found three more jackets. After trying on all four jackets, L determined she preferred the very first one she found, and it was that easy! And my final price tag? $5.34!

 

Creating Positive: Day 17 of 21

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Christian reached out to me this afternoon to let me know that he’s been enjoying the Dopamine Challenge so much, he invited his four siblings to read along and participate, as well! Cheryl decided to begin a photography challenge centered around setting an intention, and then sharing a photo a day for 30 days. Because the point is, you can do anything for 30 days, right? What are you doing differently because of the positive you created today?

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Lena: the amazing research queen
  2. My home
  3. Granola
  4. The higher road
  5. Changing into the mom
  6. Power naps
  7. Empowerment
  8. Other people’s ideas
  9. The lure of a road-trip
  10. Flashlights
  11. www.reuseit.com

Positive Experience

My day wasn’t horrible. Nothing awful happened. I just had a day. I met with one potential client first thing this morning, and then spent the rest of my working hours at my desk, systematically checking off the items populating my never-ending list of calls and emails. Admittedly, my energy was low and I wasn’t terribly excited at the prospect of a day spent in front of my computer. And then, 5:00 arrived, as if late for an important engagement, and I acknowledged its arrival by changing my clothes. Yes, that’s right. I stepped out of my skirt, pulled off the pantyhose, unbuttoned my blouse, and put on a pair of well-worn jeans, socks that reach my knees, and a comfortable pullover, and walked out the door dressed as my alter-ego: the Mom.

While waiting for my daughter, I began reading a book Julie loaned to me: The Dumbest Generation, by Mark Bauerlein, and my mind started to expand. Shifting my brain’s attention to something not related to work brought a renewed sense of energy to my entire system. By the time my daughter was finished, I had completed my transformation into her mother, and with gratitude enjoyed our evening as we prepared supper, sat down together at the table, shared conversation, and then a cup of tea, while we discussed my daughter’s day, and our plans together for this weekend.

Just because I am focused on the positive around me doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult days, tough situations, or neutral times (like today). My greatest sources of joy and gratitude, as I rediscover daily, are my family, friends, and loved ones. Work is just that: work, but the relationships we cultivate and the energy we invest in the those whom we love are where our true measures of love and gratitude emerge to enrich and bless our lives. For the opportunity to be a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a friend, I am eternally grateful.

Creating Positive: Day 16 of 21

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Plaque, gingivitis, cavities, drills, scraping, flossing: these words haunt me every six months when it’s time for another visit to my dentist. Seriously? Wasn’t I just there? Is it really that important? I can literally create a list of 100 places I would rather be than sitting in that chair, with a bib tied around my neck, and my teeth so exposed. I literally cringe when the dentist walks into the room to examine the hygienist’s handiwork (the cleanliness of my mouth). I don’t do well with bad grades, and if I get a poor mark on my record, I don’t think I can handle the shame of knowing I’m just not that strong of a flosser yet. I don’t know if it’s because of the Dopamine Challenge, or if I’m simply more mature since my last checkup? Nah. I’m sure it’s the Dopamine Challenge! Anyway, I checked off meditating while I was in the chair, and didn’t even have a tummy ache from being too tense when it was all over. And my dental report card today: Beautiful teeth. Still no cavities. And remember, flossing is your friend!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Hearing my nephews sing
  2. Family dog pile first thing in the morning
  3. No cavities
  4. Connecting with our clients
  5. Positive results from action plans
  6. Running
  7. Kind & generous offer of time from a friend
  8. Returned phone calls

Positive Experience

We work with a wide variety of clients and companies, helping their leadership teams grow stronger together, while providing individual managers the tools they need to be effective leaders within an ever-changing business environment. While it’s important for us to provide appropriate guidance and feedback when in a training environment, it’s equally important to provide experiences that are memorable. Today we facilitated an exercise that required a highly-interactive ball toss between the entire leadership team, and resulted in their discussion of some obvious parallels to what we as leaders experience daily. I enjoyed observing the exercise, and loved the conversation that followed. Seeing firsthand the impact of our programs for this client put a smile on my face.

Creating Positive: Day 15 of 21

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When falafel crosses my mind, it’s just my body’s way of saying, “Hey, I want to eat some falafel within the next three hours, or you’re going to be blending your own chickpeas by tonight.” And when I get that message, I drive to the nearest falafel-making joint I can find, and order up. There’s a newish (they’ve been open for three months) Mediterranean restaurant/bakery/juice bar in town, and I decided to see how their falafel measures up to some of my preferred spots. Nazareth Bread did not disappoint. I was able to sample the falafel, pita bread (best I’ve ever had), and some coconut cookie deliciousness straight from the baker’s oven. I just remembered I bought a piece of baklava to try, too, but forgot to eat it. No worries. Breakfast will be here in a few hours. And that, my friends, is how we turn a negative into a positive!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Flannel jammies
  2. Rainboots
  3. Flexibility in my schedule
  4. Falafel (any doubts, see above)
  5. Birthday parties
  6. Karen
  7. Memories
  8. Scheduling new business appointments
  9. Giggling
  10. Donated Target bag from a stranger for a clean cause
  11. Cleaning the kitchen together time

Positive Experience

  • The best of friends share the same piece of cake, but each with her own fork.
  • A true friend will dance around the kitchen with you because you relocated a piece of furniture, and you’re delighted with its new space.
  • Friends don’t need to always be speaking, just a little bit of space to write between them.
  • I am truly grateful today for my friend Karen, who pushes, and reminds, and encourages, and believes in me.

Who knew a birthday party for two could be the best way EVER to spend an afternoon with Karen?! I had brought last night’s red velvet cake for the celebration and in our search for candles, discovered the greatest heirloom tin Karen keeps in her pantry, and its only purpose in life has been to hold recycled birthday candles and the special occasion candle holders! When I opened the tin, it smelled just like my first-grade classroom 🙂 What a sentimental treasure! Karen decorated her cake in style, and then I sang to her, of course!

When I blow out the candles on my next birthday cake, I’m going to make a wish that the friendships, which have so richly blessed my life up until now, will continue to be such a source of joy to me in all my years to come.

allarminda.com | 2024