Happen it Now

May 30, 2016 By Arminda

During a recent conversation with my friend and colleague, Melissa Ford, we were discussing the inevitable changes that come with life. In my case, my daughter is graduating from high school this week and in August will be moving to another city to begin university. This life change brings with it many emotions and opportunities for personal growth and expansion.

My family includes myself, my (about to leave home for university) daughter, and our dog Eli. As we have been confronting these changes and watching copious amounts of the Gilmore Girls (but please no spoilers, we haven’t completed the original series yet), we are experiencing a range of emotions that run the gamut of excited and thrilled for what’s next to freaking out that it’s happening so fast and life is going to be so different and scary because of all the unknowns.

Normal.

For years I’ve been saying that when my daughter leaves for school my plan was to pack up and move myself somewhere else. Destination TBD.

Two days ago during a friendly conversation with a friend, I casually mentioned my intention to move later this year. When asked my timeline and whether I intended to sell my place, I gave my typical responses: Sometime after September and undecided.

“Well if you’re going to sell, summertime is probably the time to sell,” was all she said.

What a revelation. My denial tactics had abruptly come to an end. This was all happening whether I admitted it or not. My daughter is actually graduating high school. On Thursday! And she is, in fact, moving to another city that I will have to reach by plane when I want to see her. In August!

I really challenged myself — was I “all in” with my decision to make some changes in my own life, or have I just been saying that to avoid deciding what’s next for me? If I’m all in, as my friend and colleague Chris Dorris reminds us (reply to this email if you’d like his audio program on commitment), the next steps become apparent as you take them. You don’t need to think about it; you just do.

When I slowed myself down long enough to question my position, my mindset, I knew my truth: I’m all in. I am decided. I made a commitment to ME.

So if you’re in the neighborhood or know someone interested in a lovely well-kept home, mine’s officially on the market.

Here’s to summertime and saying yes.

Because if it’s happening anyway, why wait? Jump in. Happen it now and create the adventure as you go.

Loving you,
arminda

Sell From the Top

March 14, 2016 By Arminda

Let’s play a little game of pretend. Picture with me that your emotional life is lived on a ladder.

If at the top of the ladder are joy and happiness, then you’ll find things like fear and obligation hanging out at the bottom.

In order to “win” this pretend game I just made up, you’ll need to be aware of some rules:

Your objective is to move yourself as far up the ladder as possible
The more time you spend in the top half of your ladder, the better you’ll feel toward yourself and toward others
All of your interactions with clients (family & friends) will have the best outcomes if the other “players” are also as far up their ladders as possible
The only person you can move up or down the ladder is yourself
There are four fast tracks* to the top of the ladder; you are free to use any of them alone or in combination

The best sales advice I can give you is to sell from the top of the ladder. If you come from a place of fear and worry and needing the sale (bottom of the ladder), then your prospect intuitively knows it and won’t buy. Ever.

Move yourself up the ladder. Come from joy and pure service (not a variation on a theme of service) and you’ll astonish them every time.

*Four fast tracks:

014: Melissa Ford on Service Interview

January 8, 2016 By Arminda

Melissa Ford on Service Interview

The All Arminda Virtual Show

Melissa Ford is remarkable. No, seriously. She’s one of the most amazing women I know, and I know a lot of amazing women. It was such an honor to talk with her about service and to gain clarity around this widely misunderstood behavior and quality.

On the (rather early) morning of our scheduled conversation, the first thing Melissa said to me was

I would only get up this early for Arminda or Santa Claus.

And that is a high praise I’m taking to the bank!

My recommendation is that you listen more than once and really let sink in these refined nuances of what service really means and allow yourself time to identify areas in your world (professional and personal) where you can make some adjustments.

What You Will Discover In This Episode

Widely misunderstood definition of service = means giving and giving and giving with expectation of nothing in return
Lots of expectations built into that model & it drains your energy, makes you small and your business doesn’t grow
This definition doesn’t work, especially when I need clients and money
Operating under this definition creates resentment, manipulation and strategies to get something back
True Definition of Service = Giving/helping/loving fearlessly without attachment to an outcome
Money is part of service.
Can’t serve unless people are willing to pay for your product or service
Nobody values anything if it’s free
Must include yourself in the equation of service
Service and love mean letting go of your ego = that’s true power
Love for a living because love does pay the mortgage
Love expresses itself in many ways; there is not just one version of love

Melissa Ford Bio

Melissa Ford, Business Coach, JD, PCI Certified Coach

As a coach, transformational speaker, entrepreneur and lawyer, Melissa brings deep insights, laser focus and diverse, rich experiences to her clients. For over 20 years she has been empowering people (entrepreneurs, small business owners, executives, parents, individuals) to create positive, permanent change in their lives, enabling her clients to do more and to have more.

You can find Melissa on her website and on Facebook.