change

Alexander Graham Bell was onto something big, but could he have anticipated the iterations his history-changing invention would take? Raise your hand if you’ve personally experienced dramatic changes in the way you use telephones from the time you first started using them? My mother remembers party lines. Her parents had a rotary phone in their house that I used. We had a red push-button phone that hung on the kitchen wall as the main hub of communication until it broke and was replaced with another push-button phone, but one with more “options” (it sported a fancy hold button)! Remember the first cell phones? My brother carried one around in a bag and the phones gradually reduced in size and cost, while increasing in functionality and even my parents now only carry cell phones, having finally discontinued their landline.

Seeking out and adopting change can be intimidating and sometimes scary, but would you agree that’s primarily because of what you don’t know on the other side of the change?

Twice this week I’ve had clients tell me that the work we do together is hard and uncomfortable because they’re not used to looking introspectively, especially not for answers to questions that are easier to either complain about or to maintain status quo, rather than explore different solutions.

Why do we hypothesize and experiment? To tweak and to adjust and to update our experience with being human. This is all one big experiment and life is your lab. Grab some goggles and a white coat if it makes you feel more official, but settling with a system because it’s the way it’s always been done? Phooey. That is so payphone of you.

What if you can’t make a wrong decision because whatever decision you make is an experiment to simply see where it takes you? Can you spare yourself the drama of complaining and release your attachment to status quo? What’s the worst thing that can happen?

CAUTION: You might feel a whole lot better and have a whole lot more fun in the process.

In scientific researches, there are no unsuccessful experiments; every experiment contains a lesson. If we don’t get the results anticipated and stop right there, it is the man that is unsuccessful, not the experiment.” — Alexander Graham Bell

During a recent conversation with my friend and colleague, Melissa Ford, we were discussing the inevitable changes that come with life. In my case, my daughter is graduating from high school this week and in August will be moving to another city to begin university. This life change brings with it many emotions and opportunities for personal growth and expansion.

My family includes myself, my (about to leave home for university) daughter, and our dog Eli. As we have been confronting these changes and watching copious amounts of the Gilmore Girls (but please no spoilers, we haven’t completed the original series yet), we are experiencing a range of emotions that run the gamut of excited and thrilled for what’s next to freaking out that it’s happening so fast and life is going to be so different and scary because of all the unknowns.

Normal.

For years I’ve been saying that when my daughter leaves for school my plan was to pack up and move myself somewhere else. Destination TBD.

Two days ago during a friendly conversation with a friend, I casually mentioned my intention to move later this year. When asked my timeline and whether I intended to sell my place, I gave my typical responses: Sometime after September and undecided.

“Well if you’re going to sell, summertime is probably the time to sell,” was all she said.

What a revelation. My denial tactics had abruptly come to an end. This was all happening whether I admitted it or not. My daughter is actually graduating high school. On Thursday! And she is, in fact, moving to another city that I will have to reach by plane when I want to see her. In August!

I really challenged myself — was I “all in” with my decision to make some changes in my own life, or have I just been saying that to avoid deciding what’s next for me? If I’m all in, as my friend and colleague Chris Dorris reminds us (reply to this email if you’d like his audio program on commitment), the next steps become apparent as you take them. You don’t need to think about it; you just do.

When I slowed myself down long enough to question my position, my mindset, I knew my truth: I’m all in. I am decided. I made a commitment to ME.

So if you’re in the neighborhood or know someone interested in a lovely well-kept home, mine’s officially on the market.

Here’s to summertime and saying yes.

Because if it’s happening anyway, why wait? Jump in. Happen it now and create the adventure as you go.

Loving you,
arminda

Can You Spare a Dime?

Happen it Now