Arminda Lindsay

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Phantom Fears

August 24, 2015 By Arminda

PhantomFearSaturday morning cartoons were the routine at my house. We happily jumped out of bed early to help ourselves to bowl after bowl of cold cereal while we sat for hours, eyes glued to the television, until Mom made us turn off the tv and go outside to play.

Scooby Doo, Where Are You! was a family favorite. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, allow me to give you the major plot outline of every single episode:

Four friends and a dog named Scooby Doo drive around in a van and solve mysteries that always turn out to be not so mysterious when they arrive at their big reveal in the concluding scene.

Thinking back on the many episodes I watched, there was a regularly-occurring scary creature: a phantom, who would especially terrify the gang. I vividly remember experiencing fright every single time at the sight of that phantom lurking in the dark recesses of the (usually) abandoned building the friends were investigating.

And every single time it turned out the phantom wasn’t a phantom at all because phantoms, as it turns out, aren’t real; they’re imagined. There was always a logical (and not at all mysterious) explanation for whatever phantom appeared to be lurking in the dark.

Our fears are just like those cartoon phantoms: entirely made up. Our phantoms can assume a wide variety of forms:

  • Fear over what another person thinks
    Fear of a conversation
    Fear of trying something new
    Fear of appearing different
    Fear of sharing an opinion
    Fear of failure
    Fear of success
    Fear of perceived risk
    Fear of a new computer system
    Fear of asking for what you want
    Fear of submitting a proposal
    Fear of following up
    Fear of being overlooked
    Fear of (insert your own)

Our mystery can be very un-mysterious because the mystery to be solved isn’t why your phantom is lurking, but whether you imagined it in the first place.

What if instead of further convincing yourself the phantom fear is real, poses a real threat and prevents you from going into your dark and scary place, you flip on the light and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I absolutely know the phantom is real?
2. How do I feel when I believe the phantom is real?
3. Who would I be without that phantom in my life?

Then be number three.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: fear, fears, overcoming fear, phantoms

Spring Cleaning

May 18, 2015 By Arminda

springcleaning

Is it time for some internal spring cleaning?

I know when I clear out my own limiting beliefs and fears (all of which I invent) I have clarity of purpose and vision.

With clarity of purpose and vision comes a childlike enthusiasm for the adventure that is my life.

With enthusiasm and an adventure map the only thing I need is a sandwich because I’m going to want a snack for the road.

And with food in my belly, there’s literally nothing stopping me.

What adventure awaits you?

Let me know if you’d like to borrow my broom and dustpan.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: adventure, clarity, fears, limiting beliefs, purpose, vision

Pedal Faster

February 26, 2015 By Arminda

pedalfasterThe day my brothers took me and the bike to the top of the “hill” for my first solo ride I was terrified. Even though we’d practiced on level ground I sat at the top of that hill looking down and doubting myself.

All my fears were screaming at me:

What if I can’t do it?
What if I fall?
What if it doesn’t work?
What if I’m not able to balance the bike?

Heart pounding and palms clammy as they white-knuckled the handlebar, I got a gentle push from behind and before I knew it I had lifted my second foot and clumsily found the pedal.

And then (what seemed like) a miracle happened: I didn’t fall! I was flying and it was the most exhilarating feeling as I sped down the hill gaining momentum, and that very momentum sustained and supported my learning of how to better balance the bike as I kept going.

How often do we drag one foot thinking life is going to happen to us when we are what has to happen to create the life around us that we want?

Go ahead. Lift your foot. Rest it on the waiting pedal and let go. Lean into your fears and test their validity rather than stopping your own flight before you’ve even left the ground.

Fail.
Fall over.
Learn what works.
Find your balance.
Be unstoppable.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom Tagged With: balance, be unstoppable, bike, failure, fears

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