Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

Happen it Now

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Happen It Now

During a recent conversation with my friend and colleague, Melissa Ford, we were discussing the inevitable changes that come with life. In my case, my daughter is graduating from high school this week and in August will be moving to another city to begin university. This life change brings with it many emotions and opportunities for personal growth and expansion.

My family includes myself, my (about to leave home for university) daughter, and our dog Eli. As we have been confronting these changes and watching copious amounts of the Gilmore Girls (but please no spoilers, we haven’t completed the original series yet), we are experiencing a range of emotions that run the gamut of excited and thrilled for what’s next to freaking out that it’s happening so fast and life is going to be so different and scary because of all the unknowns.

Normal.

For years I’ve been saying that when my daughter leaves for school my plan was to pack up and move myself somewhere else. Destination TBD.

Two days ago during a friendly conversation with a friend, I casually mentioned my intention to move later this year. When asked my timeline and whether I intended to sell my place, I gave my typical responses: Sometime after September and undecided.

“Well if you’re going to sell, summertime is probably the time to sell,” was all she said.

What a revelation. My denial tactics had abruptly come to an end. This was all happening whether I admitted it or not. My daughter is actually graduating high school. On Thursday! And she is, in fact, moving to another city that I will have to reach by plane when I want to see her. In August!

I really challenged myself — was I “all in” with my decision to make some changes in my own life, or have I just been saying that to avoid deciding what’s next for me? If I’m all in, as my friend and colleague Chris Dorris reminds us (reply to this email if you’d like his audio program on commitment), the next steps become apparent as you take them. You don’t need to think about it; you just do.

When I slowed myself down long enough to question my position, my mindset, I knew my truth: I’m all in. I am decided. I made a commitment to ME.

So if you’re in the neighborhood or know someone interested in a lovely well-kept home, mine’s officially on the market.

Here’s to summertime and saying yes.

Because if it’s happening anyway, why wait? Jump in. Happen it now and create the adventure as you go.

Loving you,
arminda

The Hustle

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If you’re not hustling you’re not winning. Is that true? What is hustling, anyway? I want to suggest that what works (systems, programs, implementations, processes) for someone else may or may not work for you, but what will always work is for you to follow your commitment. If you’re committed, you’re “all in,” and when you’re “all in,” follow THAT commitment and you’ll know exactly what to do. That’s where the magic lies — inside of you.

Commitment?

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commitment

When I want a drink, I don’t hesitate and question my commitment to quenching my thirst.

I just sip and swallow until I’ve emptied my glass.

Easy.

I’m all in without question or hesitation.

My actions become instinctual as I go through the motions, no longer questioning purpose, intent, focus, or motive. I’m just doing it because I decided to do it.

Commitment is easy like that.

My colleague Chris Dorris recorded a fabulous audio program on the subject of commitment and he gave me permission to gift it to you. If you’re committed to listening, please send me an email: coach@armindalindsay.com and let me know you’re all in, and I’ll send you the link.

I also recommend you watch the Ask Arminda video I recorded on this same subject of commitment.

Are you all in?

 

Self Trust is a Thing?

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Self Trust is a Thing?

Once upon a time a week ago we discussed the idea that goals exist to serve you and not, as is popularly thought, to cause guilt, consternation or overwhelm in your world.

In the past (that place Dr. Seuss so brilliantly describes as “the waiting place” in his classic, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!), you may have set a lot of goals, or a couple of doozies at a minimum, possibly even written them down and you certainly shared your objectives with at least one other person, then promptly didn’t achieve whatever you set out to do.

You may even have engaged in some self-talk:

  • I’m no good at keeping goals
  • I guess I’m not motivated enough
  • I don’t know how to stay consistent
  • I have a lot of good intentions
  • I start off strong
  • How do those “other” people do it?
  • I wish I was more like _____________
  • I guess I don’t have what it takes
  • I’m going to finish that someday

Why does any of this matter?

Because when you commit to a goal and don’t achieve it you are cultivating self distrust.

Land squarely in that space in which you create goals because of what they do for you, and you’ll be ready to reset your relationship with yourself.

When you commit to a goal and keep it you are cultivating self trust.

The habit patterns you are building by keeping your commitments with you increase your capacity to make and keep the next commitment and the commitment after that.

I’m Not a Marathoner, BUT

Runners don’t start by running in a marathon; they gradually increase their capacity to run 26 miles, so by the time the day of the marathon arrives they know they can cross the finish line with confidence because they’ve been running the distance incrementally for months in advance.

  1. Build a relationship of trust with yourself step by step.
  2. Scale back your goals; set reasonable ones.
  3. Achieve one goal.
  4. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every other relationship in your life.

Keep your promises to you.

allarminda.com | 2024