Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

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Peace by Piece

September 5, 2016 By Arminda

Peace by Piece

Puzzles are curious toys: put all the related, but disconnected, pieces together to form a big picture, but don’t get frustrated in the process and quit, because the reward for sticking with it is intrinsic and will leave the player wanting to do it all over again, only a little bit more challenging next time.

Children learn the system of puzzle solving by first playing with puzzles that have only four or five components. Once they’ve mastered the small picture, they graduate themselves to larger and larger pictures, increasing the personal challenge with each subsequent upgrade in puzzle size, and the bigger the puzzle the more reliant on systems they become. Locate the four corners, then the border pieces, colors become helpful in identifying in which quadrant the piece might fit best, fill in the middle part, and so on, and piece by piece the bigger picture takes shape until it’s all completed, just as the picture on the box indicated it would look.

During a recent coaching session my client shared with me her frustration at how overwhelming her job currently feels to her. She detailed the multiple demands on her time in an effort to explain how impossible it is, and perhaps to justify her exhaustion and frustration. Maybe, she wondered, she’d taken on too much? Or just doesn’t know how best to manage her time?

I didn’t buy it.

Does she love her work? Absolutely.
Is she in her own self-selected ideal field? Definitely.
Is she feeling at peace in her work life? Nope.

This is a classic example of forgetting to remember that the picture on the box is the end objective and that picture is never created by dumping the puzzle pieces out of the box.

Remember that the vision of what it all will look like upon completion is just that: a vision, an image, a picture of what’s possible only after you take a bunch of individual steps to create that bigger picture. If you’re holding yourself to the standard of daily creation of the big picture you will experience overwhelm, frustration, resentment, exhaustion, self-judgment and fear.

But only all the time.

If you’re experiencing overwhelm and are not at peace, may I suggest you test a new system? Locate your four corners, then establish your borders (create boundaries), and notice the colors on the pieces because that will inform in which quadrant of your creation they might fit best, and lastly fill in the middle part.

This might take some practice, but play with it. Ask yourself what one next step could you take toward the bigger picture? Then take it, do it, create it, whatever IT is. Now, rinse, lather and repeat that process until you’ve put it all together and voila! You’ve got yourself a completed picture. Time to create a new vision and play with its pieces from a place of peace because you didn’t quit and walk away when you forgot to remember it was all a game, anyway.

Find your peace, piece by piece.

Loving you all,
arminda

Filed Under: Weekly Wisdom Tagged With: choices, creation, fear, growth, life choices, motivation, personal growth, possibility, priorities, purpose, time management

Willing to Bloom

July 18, 2016 By Arminda

Willing to Bloom

Nothing in the universe thinks there is anything wrong with you. 
— Robert Holden, Ph.D.

I love living into my magnificence and supporting others in their desire to do the same in their lives. Those “others” are my loved ones: my family, friends, neighbors, clients, workshop participants, retreat attendees, readers of my articles, viewers of my videos, vendors, store clerks, peers, classmates, followers on social media, and anyone with whom I come in contact.

What does it mean to live into your magnificence? To be exceptional? It means you are open to continuous expansion of self and that expansion is achieved through a willingness to surrender your belief system, to be open to another story, another possibility, to be vulnerable.

How do you commit the surrender? You expose your old stories, one at a time, and write new ones. You own your vulnerability. You face your fears. You make courageous self-honoring choices rather than constantly seeking to please those around you. You see that you cannot possibly be in service to others without first being willing to be in service to yourself.

“Can you see what’s really happening here? You are the actor in your own story, but you are acting as if your story about you is a biography, not an autobiography.” 
— Robert Holden, Ph.D.

What does this surrender look like? 

  • not resisting
  • not defending
  • not justifying
  • not hiding
  • not puffing
  • not pretending
  • not covering up
  • not excusing
  • not deferring
  • choosing YOU

Dr. Brene Brown teaches that “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” This living into magnificence takes courage, for it is a scary thing to face your fears. Why is that, you might wonder? Because fears cover up our deepest hurts and if our deepest hurts were to be exposed, well, that might be embarrassing, or painful, or lonely, or true, or all of the above! In fact, you might fear the greatest fear of all: that you’re not lovable or worthy.

“The real you is not afraid of love, because the real you is made of love.”
—Dr. Robert Holden

Dr. Ron Hulnick suggests that the easiest way to overcome a fear is to do the very thing that scares you while fully in your fear of doing it!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson)

Step into your fears. You are courageous. Liberate yourself from its grasp on you. Believe in your own magnificence and not in your limitations. Be willing to blossom. One petal at a time.

Loving you,
arminda

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom Tagged With: Brene Brown, choices, fear, growth, happiness, joy, Ladder of Consciousness, life choices, live your life, love, Marianne Williamson, personal growth, possibility, purpose, Robert Holden, Ron Hulnick

To Lunch or Not To Lunch

February 5, 2016 By Arminda

Before you know the difference between being a “pro” and an amateur, you wonder about how you spend your time during your business day. A lot of colleagues and/or “others” are lunching together and so you think that’s what professionals do: they lunch. The question is never whether to accept a lunch invitation. The question is whether to turn pro. I reference Steven Pressfield‘s book, Turning Pro, and highly recommend you read it! I also reference the personal versus your professional self video.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos, Blog Tagged With: clarity, focus, going pro, intention, lunching, professionalism, purpose, Steven Pressfield, vision

Illumination

June 22, 2015 By Arminda

illumination

When I’m on the right path I know it because I’m all lit up. I shine. There is no dimmer switch and everyone around me knows it because they see and feel my light, too.

I’m in love with every day.

When I’m heading in a direction that isn’t using all of my skills and strengths and serving a higher purpose I know it because I’m disengaged. I say I’m not motivated when it’s not really motivation I lack, but purpose.

I dread getting out of bed in the morning.

What ignites your light?

What purpose is waiting for you to pursue it?

Whose world (your own included) will be better because you’re illuminated?

Be in love with today every day.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: choices, illuminate, light, path, purpose, shine

Spring Cleaning

May 18, 2015 By Arminda

springcleaning

Is it time for some internal spring cleaning?

I know when I clear out my own limiting beliefs and fears (all of which I invent) I have clarity of purpose and vision.

With clarity of purpose and vision comes a childlike enthusiasm for the adventure that is my life.

With enthusiasm and an adventure map the only thing I need is a sandwich because I’m going to want a snack for the road.

And with food in my belly, there’s literally nothing stopping me.

What adventure awaits you?

Let me know if you’d like to borrow my broom and dustpan.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: adventure, clarity, fears, limiting beliefs, purpose, vision

Let’s Do the Time Warp!

November 4, 2014 By Arminda

sundial

How often have you heard yourself saying you don’t have enough time in your day? Or a new project comes along and your stress level increases exponentially because of the perceived time commitment? Or your heart rate goes up just looking at your ever-expanding list of things to do?

Have you ever wondered why you feel like nothing is getting accomplished even though you are always busy?

And in those moments you dismiss it all by acknowledging, “I struggle with time management,” as if that wipes your slate and gives you permission to continue being busy with little outcome.

Steve Chandler says, “. . . with a clear mission driving [you], time management is never a problem.”

Would you agree that when you really want something (anything), you figure out how to get it?

What is your mission?

Here’s the promise: Get a mission, identify your wants, focus on your goal(s) and time slows down and moves to the side as you create your how.

Every single time.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom Tagged With: achievement, busyness, goals, mission, productivity, purpose, Steve Chandler, time, time management

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