Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

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Taking a Break

September 4, 2015 By Arminda

Is it normal to want to slip back into my comfort zone while I’m still excited about my own personal growth?

Is it time for a break or am I just caving to my own weakness?

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: break, comfort zone, personal growth, slowing down, taking a break, vacation, weakness

Developing Willpower

September 4, 2015 By Arminda

Can willpower be developed?

In a word, YES!

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: ability to create, control desire, creation, increase willpower, just do it, willpower

No One Follows Through

September 4, 2015 By Arminda

It’s easy to get frustrated when we perceive someone else as not following through on something they’re expected to do, whether professionally or personally. Let’s look at why that happens and how to correct it.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: agreements, expectations, follow through, language matters, powerful agreements

When Fear Feels Real

September 4, 2015 By Arminda

Oftentimes our fears feel very real to us and simply dismissing the fear as made-up seems trite. How can you use your fears as a starting point to a greater you?

The magic lies in the experience of fear, itself. When we feel fear it’s our opportunity to slow ourselves down and explore the starting point for that emotion of fear and then reframe and move past the fear so we’re no longer in our own way.

 

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: fear, fearless, fearlessness, future-based living, happiness, life choices, love, moving past fear

Procrastinator as Protagonist

August 31, 2015 By Arminda

Procastinator as Protagonist

You aren’t a procrastinator.

Procrastination isn’t a “thing.”

Procrastination is nothing more than a story you’ve made up (or believed someone else’s story) about yourself to explain your reason for not doing something you just don’t want to do.

If something keeps getting pushed to tomorrow’s To-Do List, that’s simply an opportunity for you to slow down and gather more information.

Ask yourself:

Why am I not completing this task, project or assignment?

Answer yourself honestly.

You will uncover the reason behind your procrastination story and that reason may look like this:

it’s not fun
it’s tedious
it’s too big
it’s not my responsibility
it’s hard
it’s complicated

Or any number of reasons I’ve left off this incomplete list.

Next ask:

How can I love this project?
How can I have fun with it?
How can I change my story about this task?

When we slow ourselves down long enough to truly look at what’s not being done we see we are not the problem. Our relationship with our story about ourselves is the problem.

Rewrite your story so that the protagonist is the conquerer of tasks and not the other way around.

Happy endings are a choice.

But only every time.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: happy endings, procrastination, procrastinator, projects, story, success, task

Phantom Fears

August 24, 2015 By Arminda

PhantomFearSaturday morning cartoons were the routine at my house. We happily jumped out of bed early to help ourselves to bowl after bowl of cold cereal while we sat for hours, eyes glued to the television, until Mom made us turn off the tv and go outside to play.

Scooby Doo, Where Are You! was a family favorite. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, allow me to give you the major plot outline of every single episode:

Four friends and a dog named Scooby Doo drive around in a van and solve mysteries that always turn out to be not so mysterious when they arrive at their big reveal in the concluding scene.

Thinking back on the many episodes I watched, there was a regularly-occurring scary creature: a phantom, who would especially terrify the gang. I vividly remember experiencing fright every single time at the sight of that phantom lurking in the dark recesses of the (usually) abandoned building the friends were investigating.

And every single time it turned out the phantom wasn’t a phantom at all because phantoms, as it turns out, aren’t real; they’re imagined. There was always a logical (and not at all mysterious) explanation for whatever phantom appeared to be lurking in the dark.

Our fears are just like those cartoon phantoms: entirely made up. Our phantoms can assume a wide variety of forms:

  • Fear over what another person thinks
    Fear of a conversation
    Fear of trying something new
    Fear of appearing different
    Fear of sharing an opinion
    Fear of failure
    Fear of success
    Fear of perceived risk
    Fear of a new computer system
    Fear of asking for what you want
    Fear of submitting a proposal
    Fear of following up
    Fear of being overlooked
    Fear of (insert your own)

Our mystery can be very un-mysterious because the mystery to be solved isn’t why your phantom is lurking, but whether you imagined it in the first place.

What if instead of further convincing yourself the phantom fear is real, poses a real threat and prevents you from going into your dark and scary place, you flip on the light and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I absolutely know the phantom is real?
2. How do I feel when I believe the phantom is real?
3. Who would I be without that phantom in my life?

Then be number three.

Filed Under: Blog, Weekly Wisdom, Writing Tagged With: fear, fears, overcoming fear, phantoms

Stuff I Have to Do

August 19, 2015 By Arminda

Once we’ve paired down our “to-do” lists to the essentials and the things we truly WANT to be doing — where do we go from there? Because even that can feel overwhelming.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: overcomplicate life, priorities, priority, simple, simplify, slow down, time, time management

Busy With No Time

August 19, 2015 By Arminda

Who HASN’T felt the overwhelm of busy? (That’s gonna be a small queue.) Let’s look at a simple solution.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: agreements, busy, busyness, just say no, priorities, priority, slowing down, take inventory

Moving Past Fear

August 19, 2015 By Arminda

Here’s one way to look at fear and why it stops us from moving forward.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: consequences, fear, future living, made up reality, paralyzed with fear

Ask Arminda Intro

August 19, 2015 By Arminda

Let’s play a game!

You have a question about your life or someone else’s life and the way everybody shows up?

Ask me.

You’re wondering how to move your happy meter higher so you can experience happiness the majority of the time?

Ask me.

Why would anyone get a life coach?

Ask me.

My most embarrassing childhood memories?

Ask me.

You’re creative and have your own questions?

Ask me.

Filed Under: Ask Arminda Videos Tagged With: Ask Arminda, coaching, happiness, inquiries, questions

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