Arminda Lindsay

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Sherry Welsh: The Trust Model

April 16, 2018 By Arminda

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I got so much out of my conversation with Sherry Welsh, author of Slowing Down: Unexpected Ways to Thrive as a Female Leader, and leadership coach.

Discussing Sherry’s Trust Model illuminated for me a powerful trifecta between integrity, transparency and communication, and seeing more clearly how loss of personal power is directly linked to lack of trust. Here are links to two additional conversations Sherry’s recorded to further illustrate How to Make the Trust Model Work for You and How to Build Trust in Your Relationships.

We referenced Byron Katie’s Judge Your Neighbor worksheets we both love using and you can access them for free, as well!

Thank you, Sherry, for the reminder that I am enough right now and I have everything I need to be powerful today.

Sherry Welsh Bio

Sherry started out with an education in Engineering. Although she didn’t quite know what to do with it, it gave her the technical background to begin a 25 year career in manufacturing. With the introductory job in Southampton, PA, the experience she gained in that first year landed her on the path of a 20-year career with Robert Bosch, GmbH. She moved through plants, corporate offices in Germany and the U.S. and ultimately landed in Michigan where she lived for 20 years prior to landing back home in Charleston, SC. When she left Bosch, she was one of the few women who were in the executive ranks. She was lured away from Bosch to another automotive supplier to be the head of the Global Sales organization responsible for $3 Billion in Sales. Although the future seemed bright there, the great recession of 2008 came along and knocked her out of the game… temporarily. As a single mom, unemployed in Detroit, Michigan, in one of the greatest recessions of all time, the future seemed bleak. It was in that time, Sherry was able to slow down, set up a consulting practice, and use the skills she had developed over the years as a leader. In that year of consultant work, Sherry discovered her love for coaching and mentoring. Another company came along, a British Cosmetic packaging company that invited her into a 2-year stint as a Global Sales leader. Sherry worked with colleagues around the world again and loved the team she was developing and leading in Paris, Amsterdam, Brazil, New York and Chicago, to name a few locations. Working with customers like Chanel, Christian Dior, and LÓreal was a dream! But due to the nature of the location, every week she was on an airplane, at a different hotel, in a different city. Despite her love for travel, this way of life, disconnected from others, while being a single mom, was exhausting. That’s when the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) popped up on the radar! It was exactly what Sherry loved most about working with the multicultural teams she had around the world… inspiring them and coaching them to be their best! Although she no longer belongs to any one corporation, as an independent professional coach, Sherry now works with clients around the world to help them discover and bring into all aspects of their life their innate leadership abilities. She continues to travel and co-parent her incredible son… but more relaxed, with more humor, and an open mind full of possibility.

Enjoy this episode of The All Arminda Show!

Filed Under: All Arminda Show, Radio Show, The All Arminda Show Tagged With: leadership, power, powerful woman, Sherry Welsh, trust, women in power

For Whom the Bell Tolls

May 23, 2016 By Arminda

For Whom the Bell Tolls

My dog Eli is not food-motivated. (And until he joined our family we had no idea such a dog even existed!) This means we sometimes cajole, bribe, strongly encourage, throw impromptu dance parties, and sit beside of him to get him to eat or complete a meal. It also means that when Eli does finish the food in his bowl we celebrate BIG.

My dog is also an alarmist. A false one.

For reasons I have yet to understand, Eli often lies to me about having (not) eaten the food in his bowl. He comes to get me when there is still a lot of food left and the best I can do is remind him, again, to eat his food before he comes to tell me.

I want to celebrate him, to encourage and to recognize what for Eli is a huge accomplishment. And I know he loves our twice-daily ritualistic parties in his honor. Perhaps that’s why he comes to get me — hoping I won’t notice the still-full bowl so we can get on with the after-party.

Are there members of your team you’re constantly cajoling, bribing, strongly encouraging, dance partying and sitting beside just to get them to complete assignments and projects? Do you feel like you’re throwing massive parties in their honor just because they turned in a report on time?

Or am I describing YOU: Unmotivated, lacking enthusiasm, general ho-hum attitude about completing what’s been put in front of you? Are you waiting for someone else to throw you a dance party and notice what little, if any, progress you’ve made before you do anything else?

Eli doesn’t eat sometimes because he doesn’t want to eat. That’s it.

If you’ve got employees and team members who aren’t doing something, it’s because they don’t want to.

If you’re the one not completing a task you’ve either been given or that you assigned yourself, it’s because you don’t want to.

Motivation isn’t a thing; don’t get caught up in that misunderstanding.

I can no easier motivate my dog to eat his food, than I can motivate my daughter to clean her room, than I can motivate myself to balance my checkbook. If Eli doesn’t want to eat he won’t. If my daughter doesn’t want to clean her room, she won’t. And because I don’t want to balance my checkbook, I don’t; I pay my accountant to do it for me because he wants to do that sort of thing.

You can’t motivate anyone (yourself included) to do anything.

Dwight D. Eisenhower had it figured out when he said,

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”

The “trick” that Eli understands is agreement. Our agreement is simple: when Eli finishes a meal, I agree to jump up and down, loudly declare his awesomeness and give him treats. Simple. When he doesn’t keep his part of the agreement (eating his food), I do not jump up and down or give him treats. (I do declare his awesomeness all the time; that can’t be helped.)

What agreements are you creating with your employees? What agreements are you creating with yourself? Are your employees in the right role? Are you leading in such a way that your team is accomplishing what you want because they want to do it?

While that food agreement is in place, it’s not until Eli decides to eat that he eats.

If you’re not feeling motivated to go to the gym, do you wait until you are? You’ll likely be waiting a long time to feel motivated. Some things just have to be decided. Don’t wait around to feel anything.

Decide and Do. Get motivated later.

loving you,
arminda

Filed Under: Coaching, Weekly Wisdom Tagged With: agreement, decide, decision, eisenhower, Eli the Pitbull, leadership, motivation, want to

Miss Bossy Pants

March 14, 2014 By Arminda 6 Comments

Leadership

A few days ago I was in the midst of some lighthearted texting banter with a friend when he casually threw a handful of descriptors my direction, charging me of being the following:

  1. high maintenance
  2. pushy
  3. bossy
  4. high fashion sense
  5. fabulous

I immediately countered with a reference to Sheryl Sandberg and her #banbossy campaign:

Sheryl Sandberg is advocating for the removal of “bossy” from our vernacular as it sends the wrong message to our female population about their true leadership capabilities.

I then sent a text message with a rewrite, suggesting I’m certain he meant to say the following about me instead:

  1. I maintain high expectations of myself and those around me.
  2. I’m assertive and know what I want.
  3. My leadership skills shine in every circumstance.
  4. I pay attention to details, particularly with myself and when I dress it is a reflection of my personal standards of excellence.
  5. I am fabulous. Thanks for noticing.

This is not a post advocating for banning the word bossy, although I am an advocate for every single person reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In.

This is also not a post to denigrate my friend for his comments, which I have taken out of context to share here with you. (He fully endorses and supports my rewrite.)

This IS a post about knowing yourself.

Sometimes we hear something said about ourselves and we choose to internalize that message as truth. Perhaps that something was said years ago or perhaps it was just last week.

Words are just words. Your thoughts apply meaning to them, and once you’ve attached meaning, you start generating emotions around those thoughts and before you realize it, you’ve created a belief. A false one.

Remember the childhood rhyme?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words (or names) will never hurt me!

Maybe we should repeat this more often as adults than we did as children. Attaching meaning to names and words is a habit and habits are meant to be broken, at least the bad ones!

Who are you?

Know the answer to this question unequivocally. Without hesitation.

State your list out loud to yourself so you can hear it. Attach your meaning to those words and the emotions you generate will be positive because hearing those words will resonate an inner truth deep within you and you will smile from the inside out, and a new belief will have been created.

Now if anyone (yourself included) throws you a label or a name or a title that doesn’t fit your personal description, you’ll be prepared to deliver an accurate definition back.

Choose you. Choose happy.

Filed Under: Blog, Coaching, Happiness, Writing Tagged With: bossiness, choose happy, choose you, Knowing yourself, leadership, Lean In book, pushy, Sheryl Sandberg

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