Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

Creating Positive: Day 14 of 21

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Growing up, my mother baked a lot of cakes. There were eight of us kids, plus a menagerie of assorted pets, and my dad, and we all had reasons to celebrate. Three cakes were regularly requested: 1) yellow sheet cake with either chocolate frosting (me), or with cherry topping (Dad), or 2) red velvet cake, which was oftentimes green, depending on whose request it was (Andy), or 3) Wacky Cake (Nathan).

And lest you think otherwise, all of the cakes and their various toppings were homemade, no mixes or cans were used in the making or the baking process. (Mom tried to switch it up on me a few years ago with  my annual yellow cake with chocolate frosting, but hopefully she learned I cannot be bought with a cake mix birthday.)

Tonight, I baked Mom’s red velvet cake, complete with her frosting recipe, and I’m going to go ahead and claim victory on this baking project (which required three separate siftings of the dry ingredients, 15 minutes of batter mixing, and 10 minutes of icing mixing – thank goodness I had sous chefs helping me!), and relish in that fact, while expressing public gratitude for the countless cakes my mother baked – I’m guessing out of sheer love for her happy eaters, because boy, was that ever a lot of work!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Sharing our pew with family
  2. Seeing old friends
  3. Cooking
  4. Meditating in the woods
  5. Hot water whenever I want it
  6. Baking a successful version of Mom’s Red Velvet Cake

Positive Experience

As soon as she arrived in “our pew” this morning, Claire came running to me, and jumped up for a big squeeze and a kiss, murmuring against my cheeks, “I missed you!” Sundays are always a delight to share with this sweet niece, whose Sunday service hour is wiled away on my lap, coloring, opening every app on any iDevice she can hold without detection, or having her legs, arms, back, or belly rubbed – and in just the right way or I will hear about it. Today, Claire learned how to operate the iPod camera, and took numerous shots of the ceiling, but I’m rather partial to this one.

Creating Positive: Day 13 of 21

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The trouble now is deciding which daily positive experience to share in this medium! I start out thinking it’s going to be one thing, and then it turns into a completely different moment from my day. I’m grateful for this challenge! And speaking of challenges, how’s the Dopamine Challenge treating you? What has been a particularly memorable experience for you so far?

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Sleeping late
  2. The helpfulness of Apple employees
  3. Crying (again) when Dobby dies
  4. Making my own naan!
  5. Movie candy at home
  6. Avatar cartoon series
  7. Clean Sheet Day

Positive Experience

I well remember the day I was first introduced to Harry Potter. It seemed obvious to me that any book(s) that were grabbing the interest of so many young people across the globe had to be worth at least a cursory glance from me. But like the others before me, there was no turning back once I read:

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that  you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

 

My daughter and I have been experiencing the story differently this time (who’s counting how many times and ways we’ve read them?) by listening our way through the audio version of all seven books, and we are now halfway through the final book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Dobby just died again, and again I am overcome with tears. Driving through town, my daughter sitting next to me just as affected as me, but perhaps not as willing to show it, I allow my emotions to roll shamelessly onto my shirt, and I am grateful in this moment for the power of words, the capability of story, and my shared love of literature with this beautiful young woman to whom I’ve been reading out loud since before her ears were formed in my belly.

Creating Positive: Day 11 of 21

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We are at the Dopamine Challenge halfway mark today! I haven’t heard from many of you in a while, so how’s it going? This morning I realized that by tracking my gratitudes each day, I am always looking for the positive perspective to every situation. And as I re-frame the world around me, the world around me starts to shift on its own. I’m starting to slow down more, take in my surroundings, and really focus on being present. I like the way it feels. There’s not the same sense of urgency to check off so many things on my list, as there is a peace of mind that comes from knowing I did what needed to be done, and appreciated my experiences throughout the day.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. 72 degrees in February
  2. Reconnecting with Lavonne over oatmeal
  3. Feeling compassion for another person
  4. peanut butter
  5. Nathan commenting on my page
  6. Sweet email from Jamie
  7. “Who is missing right here?” with Clark
  8. An evening at home
  9. A new apron from Lavonne
  10. Reminder to journal the journey
  11. Having all the ingredients in my kitchen to make what I want
  12. Bobbijean’s reminder that time with our children isn’t about “taking a turn”
  13. Courage

Positive Experience

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Today I was courageous in the face of my past. Today I confronted a bully. Today I stood up for what is right. Today I defined appropriate. Today I remained calm. Today I was in control. Today I made the rules. Today I spoke my truth. Today I wasn’t afraid any more. Today I did something that no longer scares me.

Ms. Roosevelt, with all due respect, today I didn’t listen.

Creating Positive: Day 10 of 21

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I have had such a great response, both on and offline, to the Dopamine Challenge! It’s so gratifying to hear from many of you about the daily journals you’re keeping of your gratitudes, and that you’re noticing changes. For some of you, the changes are significant, and for others, incremental. For many of you, committing to all five of the requirements is extremely difficult. Pick one and start there. If you can, at the very least, focus on the positives, then after twenty-one days you’ll be in that habit, and can add the next item. Go twenty-one days, and add another, and so on. You’ll be on the 105-Day Plan! No worries. And for those of you just now finding us, jump on in and get started! Your 21 days can begin today. Let us know how it’s going!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – nope
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Productive lunch meeting with a client
  2. Being a resource for my client
  3. Getting contacted to film some commercials
  4. Sunshine
  5. Leftovers
  6. Lots of positive feedback on the Dopamine Challenge
  7. Arriving on-time all day long
  8. Razor slept through the night
  9. Peter’s responsiveness
  10. Honesty

Positive Experience

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you already know that I am in love with a boy named Clark. If you want to know more, you’re welcome to read about a particularly memorable walk we took together.

This afternoon I parked my car and stepped onto the sidewalk when Clark, who was outside playing, noticed I was home, and came barreling toward me the way only a 2 1/2 year old can (barely keeping his balance and never in a straight line). My bags were on the ground just before Clark leapt into my arms, wrapped his arms around my neck, smooched me, and said, “Hi, Mimi!” How could life possibly be sweeter than that?

Creating Positive: Day 9 of 21

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Go ahead and acknowledge you have stress in your life. Embrace that fact. Stress exists for all of us, and comes from a variety of sources – some of which we control, and others over which we have absolutely no control at all. I’m no sociologist, but it seems to me that stress is the main barrier preventing our personal happiness. If that’s true, then would you agree that breaking through that barrier could lead to significant improvement in your emotional health and well being? Would you also agree that when you are stressed, it is difficult (if not impossible) to recognize the positive? It’s as if one displaces the other, and you only have space enough for one of them. Stress and positivity cannot coexist. At least, that’s what I’ve been pondering today. Granted, there are different kinds of stress in our lives, but if we focus on emotional stress – that is something we can control 100%!

How do you manage stress? We collected a small sample of ideas this morning during our training session, and the flip chart pictured captures many of those ideas. There are ways to shift away from stress while you’re at work, and ideas to implement while you’re at home. This list is far from comprehensive. What would you add? What do YOU do to relieve stressful situations in your own life?

 

 

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Hearing about significant ROI for a client – after only ONE month!
  2. Watching my daughter mature and grow into a beautiful young woman
  3. Reconnecting conversation with Laura C
  4. Safe and uneventful business trip
  5. Youth leaders who love my daughter
  6. New random dishes to capture better photographs of my food
  7. Warm fuzzy socks
  8. Email from Nancy about her start to the Dopamine Challenge
  9. Laughing when I realized I was wearing 4″ heels while doing dishes, knowing there’s no social expectation (because I am so not Donna Reed)

Positive Experience

Accepting the fact that it takes a variety of communities, our modern-day villages, to create great people (I wrote about that here), I witnessed my daughter in one of her most significant community circles tonight.

She was a key participant in a church youth program this evening, and as parents we were able to attend. My daughter was given an assignment in advance, and on her own prepared a talk, which she delivered with better oral skills than many adults I know. She performed a duet with one of her friends, and her voice sang out with such sweetness, purity and clarity, I was proud of her confidence and ability to share her many gifts and talents with others. Immediately following the program’s conclusion, she hurried to introduce me to one of her favorite youth leaders, about whom she’s been telling me since July of last year.

If community is about creating quality individuals, I am certainly grateful tonight for the community of strong women my daughter is building around herself.

Creating Positive: Day 8 of 21

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I received the nicest email from Bruce this morning, letting me know he and his wife are participating together on the Dopamine Challenge. He said that they added a sixth item to their daily list, and that is faith. I took the original list directly from the TED Talk given by Shawn Achor, but I thought about faith. It feels like for those for whom faith is part of their lives, meditation can sometimes accommodate that discipline. Personally, meditation and prayer oftentimes share a fine line, but if you need to pull out faith as a separate line item, then follow Bruce’s lead, and please do!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Home
  2. Receiving a kind email from Bruce
  3. Singing out loud
  4. Being on a first-name basis with the produce guy (Peter)
  5. Clean water to drink
  6. Technology that connects me with business peers around the world
  7. John’s willingness to help with all my questions
  8. Hugs
  9. Feedback on my cooking
  10. Unsolicited help with the dishes
  11. Razor the Caped Crusader
  12. Today

Positive Experience

When Heather told me this morning that she’s been keeping a written record of her positive experiences, I smiled. But when Heather told me what a difference it’s actually making in her life – how she can’t help but look at things differently because she’s always looking for the positive in everything (even the news), and that’s when the change occurred inside of her, I knew she was experiencing the positive side effects Shawn Achor discussed in his TED Talk. It’s the same thing that Bruce shared with me in his email, too: sometimes we just need a gentle reminder to refocus on all the good and great that surround us all the time.

I’m grateful for this opportunity to write about my experiences and the growth you’re each having, as well.

Dopamine Challenge

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I’m really into happiness. But before I talk more about that, I need for you to do me a favor, and watch this twelve and a half minute TED Talk by Shawn Achor. Once you finish, I’ll discuss dopamine with you.

Amazing, right? I can’t stop thinking about this talk, and its broader implications for me, and for anyone else who cares to join me. Here’s what Shawn said:

It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.

 

Shawn suggested the only way to “change the lens” is by reversing this formula: If I work harder, I’ll be more successful, and if I’m more successful, then I’ll be happier. We need to stop placing our happiness just out of reach.

So how do we permanently raise the positive in our lives? By becoming positive in the present! Shawn recommends the following:

  1. Identify 3 New Gratitudes daily to scan the world for positive, and not negative.
  2. Journal daily about one positive experience you’ve had in the past 24 hours.
  3. Regular exercise teaches your brain that your behavior matters.
  4. Meditation allows us to get over the “cultural ADHD” we’ve been creating by trying to do multiple tasks at once, and by focusing on the task at hand.
  5. Deliberately perform Random or Conscious Acts of Kindness once a day.

Our brains are 31% more productive at positive, than they are at neutral or negative! To create this kind of lasting positive change in our lives, we need to flood our systems with dopamine, which is a natural compound that acts as a neurotransmitter, and when we are positive, dopamine floods our system, generating two reactions:

  1. We are happier
  2. All the learning centers in our brains are ignited, allowing us to adapt to the world differently

Shawn suggests that these retraining exercises, particularly the first two, take just minutes a day, and he says we must be consistent for 21 consecutive days in order for our behaviors to change long-term. So, who’s with me?

My commitment is to start today, and to share my daily journal with each of you for 21 days, in the hopes that you will share your daily journal with me – right here on the website. Let’s create a community of positivity! Who’s with me?

allarminda.com | 2024