Arminda Lindsay

Being On Purpose

Creating Positive: Day 12 of 21

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I’m always glad when Friday arrives, but in a desperate sort of way. It’s as if the day has snuck up on me, and didn’t tell me it was coming so soon, which means I haven’t had time to put out the guest towels yet. Maybe that’s just me. Either way – the Dopamine Challenge is still providing me plenty of opportunities to wear my rose-colored glasses as I move through the variety of experiences I call my life.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Procedures that allow me to work efficiently
  2. Public Radio
  3. Inspiration that comes from others’ successes
  4. Participating as an audience member in a live broadcast of The State of Things
  5. Chopsticks

Positive Experience

Arminda & Peter with Dr. Nido Qubein

We were privileged this afternoon to participate as audience members in a live broadcast of WUNC’s The State of Things, a live public radio program produced locally, and one of my favorite shows. Today’s guest was Dr. Nido Qubein, and if you’re unfamiliar with his story, I encourage you to click here to learn more about him. I’ve been a big fan of Nido for as many years as I have lived in North Carolina, and always enjoy hearing him speak publicly. He is charming and inspirational. I took notes, and here were just a few standout items:

  • With a clear vision, solid strategy, and good communication, amazing things can happen
  • When you have a great idea & can sell it to someone else (buy-in), the world can change
  • I want to shift my perspective from success to significance
  • The world changes by lighting one candle (person) at a time
  • The best way to prove yourself is to lose yourself in a cause
  • Anytime you have an idea, someone else will resist you based on their own frame of reference
  • We are each a product of the people we know and the books we’ve read
  • Dare to be an individual; do it your way

My notes were about what impacted me in the moment, although I want to listen again to everything that was said. Dr. Qubein’s life outlook is very much in line with our own 21-day challenge to shift our own spheres of happiness, and as we do, then just as Dr. Qubein suggested, we can change the world!

Creating Positive: Day 11 of 21

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We are at the Dopamine Challenge halfway mark today! I haven’t heard from many of you in a while, so how’s it going? This morning I realized that by tracking my gratitudes each day, I am always looking for the positive perspective to every situation. And as I re-frame the world around me, the world around me starts to shift on its own. I’m starting to slow down more, take in my surroundings, and really focus on being present. I like the way it feels. There’s not the same sense of urgency to check off so many things on my list, as there is a peace of mind that comes from knowing I did what needed to be done, and appreciated my experiences throughout the day.

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. 72 degrees in February
  2. Reconnecting with Lavonne over oatmeal
  3. Feeling compassion for another person
  4. peanut butter
  5. Nathan commenting on my page
  6. Sweet email from Jamie
  7. “Who is missing right here?” with Clark
  8. An evening at home
  9. A new apron from Lavonne
  10. Reminder to journal the journey
  11. Having all the ingredients in my kitchen to make what I want
  12. Bobbijean’s reminder that time with our children isn’t about “taking a turn”
  13. Courage

Positive Experience

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Today I was courageous in the face of my past. Today I confronted a bully. Today I stood up for what is right. Today I defined appropriate. Today I remained calm. Today I was in control. Today I made the rules. Today I spoke my truth. Today I wasn’t afraid any more. Today I did something that no longer scares me.

Ms. Roosevelt, with all due respect, today I didn’t listen.

Creating Positive: Day 10 of 21

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I have had such a great response, both on and offline, to the Dopamine Challenge! It’s so gratifying to hear from many of you about the daily journals you’re keeping of your gratitudes, and that you’re noticing changes. For some of you, the changes are significant, and for others, incremental. For many of you, committing to all five of the requirements is extremely difficult. Pick one and start there. If you can, at the very least, focus on the positives, then after twenty-one days you’ll be in that habit, and can add the next item. Go twenty-one days, and add another, and so on. You’ll be on the 105-Day Plan! No worries. And for those of you just now finding us, jump on in and get started! Your 21 days can begin today. Let us know how it’s going!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – nope
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Productive lunch meeting with a client
  2. Being a resource for my client
  3. Getting contacted to film some commercials
  4. Sunshine
  5. Leftovers
  6. Lots of positive feedback on the Dopamine Challenge
  7. Arriving on-time all day long
  8. Razor slept through the night
  9. Peter’s responsiveness
  10. Honesty

Positive Experience

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you already know that I am in love with a boy named Clark. If you want to know more, you’re welcome to read about a particularly memorable walk we took together.

This afternoon I parked my car and stepped onto the sidewalk when Clark, who was outside playing, noticed I was home, and came barreling toward me the way only a 2 1/2 year old can (barely keeping his balance and never in a straight line). My bags were on the ground just before Clark leapt into my arms, wrapped his arms around my neck, smooched me, and said, “Hi, Mimi!” How could life possibly be sweeter than that?

Creating Positive: Day 9 of 21

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Go ahead and acknowledge you have stress in your life. Embrace that fact. Stress exists for all of us, and comes from a variety of sources – some of which we control, and others over which we have absolutely no control at all. I’m no sociologist, but it seems to me that stress is the main barrier preventing our personal happiness. If that’s true, then would you agree that breaking through that barrier could lead to significant improvement in your emotional health and well being? Would you also agree that when you are stressed, it is difficult (if not impossible) to recognize the positive? It’s as if one displaces the other, and you only have space enough for one of them. Stress and positivity cannot coexist. At least, that’s what I’ve been pondering today. Granted, there are different kinds of stress in our lives, but if we focus on emotional stress – that is something we can control 100%!

How do you manage stress? We collected a small sample of ideas this morning during our training session, and the flip chart pictured captures many of those ideas. There are ways to shift away from stress while you’re at work, and ideas to implement while you’re at home. This list is far from comprehensive. What would you add? What do YOU do to relieve stressful situations in your own life?

 

 

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Hearing about significant ROI for a client – after only ONE month!
  2. Watching my daughter mature and grow into a beautiful young woman
  3. Reconnecting conversation with Laura C
  4. Safe and uneventful business trip
  5. Youth leaders who love my daughter
  6. New random dishes to capture better photographs of my food
  7. Warm fuzzy socks
  8. Email from Nancy about her start to the Dopamine Challenge
  9. Laughing when I realized I was wearing 4″ heels while doing dishes, knowing there’s no social expectation (because I am so not Donna Reed)

Positive Experience

Accepting the fact that it takes a variety of communities, our modern-day villages, to create great people (I wrote about that here), I witnessed my daughter in one of her most significant community circles tonight.

She was a key participant in a church youth program this evening, and as parents we were able to attend. My daughter was given an assignment in advance, and on her own prepared a talk, which she delivered with better oral skills than many adults I know. She performed a duet with one of her friends, and her voice sang out with such sweetness, purity and clarity, I was proud of her confidence and ability to share her many gifts and talents with others. Immediately following the program’s conclusion, she hurried to introduce me to one of her favorite youth leaders, about whom she’s been telling me since July of last year.

If community is about creating quality individuals, I am certainly grateful tonight for the community of strong women my daughter is building around herself.

Creating Positive: Day 8 of 21

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I received the nicest email from Bruce this morning, letting me know he and his wife are participating together on the Dopamine Challenge. He said that they added a sixth item to their daily list, and that is faith. I took the original list directly from the TED Talk given by Shawn Achor, but I thought about faith. It feels like for those for whom faith is part of their lives, meditation can sometimes accommodate that discipline. Personally, meditation and prayer oftentimes share a fine line, but if you need to pull out faith as a separate line item, then follow Bruce’s lead, and please do!

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – nope
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Home
  2. Receiving a kind email from Bruce
  3. Singing out loud
  4. Being on a first-name basis with the produce guy (Peter)
  5. Clean water to drink
  6. Technology that connects me with business peers around the world
  7. John’s willingness to help with all my questions
  8. Hugs
  9. Feedback on my cooking
  10. Unsolicited help with the dishes
  11. Razor the Caped Crusader
  12. Today

Positive Experience

When Heather told me this morning that she’s been keeping a written record of her positive experiences, I smiled. But when Heather told me what a difference it’s actually making in her life – how she can’t help but look at things differently because she’s always looking for the positive in everything (even the news), and that’s when the change occurred inside of her, I knew she was experiencing the positive side effects Shawn Achor discussed in his TED Talk. It’s the same thing that Bruce shared with me in his email, too: sometimes we just need a gentle reminder to refocus on all the good and great that surround us all the time.

I’m grateful for this opportunity to write about my experiences and the growth you’re each having, as well.

Creating Positive: Day 7 of 21

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I love living. I suppose everyone has a different definition for living, but there are so many things I want to see and read and do and experience; I’m not sure there’s enough time to do it all! How does anyone have time to watch television? In the middle of all of this living, I encounter so many different people and personalities, and those interactions are always instructive and enlightening.

I’ve been grateful for the break in my workweek to focus on family, loved ones, and friends – all of whom make my daily gratitude list.

The Other Three

Exercise – done
Meditate – done
Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Good plans turning into great plans
  2. Being able to laugh at ourselves
  3. The majesty of the creatures of this earth
  4. Cold weather clothes to keep us warm
  5. SNOW!
  6. Meditating in the midst of thousands

Positive Experience

Think about your average fish tank, with the top of the tank being the point of entry for all things going in and out of the tank. That includes the fish, their food, and any plants you add to the mix. This afternoon I stood at the top of a 6.3 million gallon tank (yes, you read correctly), and no more than five feet from me surfaced a whale shark – the largest fish in the world. My heart swelled with sheer joy and delight at my privilege, and I am in complete awe of these creatures of the sea. Surreal, yes, I suppose, but it was a moment of presence and coexisting that I will remember always.

Creating Positive: Day 6 of 21

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We are about to start our second week together in the Dopamine Challenge. Have you noticed any patterns in your behavior? Any inconsistencies? Any observations? What are the biggest challenges you’re facing in completing the challenge? How can our community help? I know how important accountability is for my own success. Knowing I have to publish my daily results is keeping me on my toes and my fingers at the ready! If you haven’t already, you may want to consider partnering with someone else to go through the experience together. If for no other reason – being accountable to someone other than yourself is important for success. Let me know how I can help.

The Other Three

Exercise – Done
Meditate – Done
Kindess – Done

Gratitudes

  1. The promise of snow
  2. Vehicles that work
  3. Shoes designed for walking
  4. Strangers willing to share
  5. Cameras to capture life’s moments
  6. Great parking spots
  7. Knowledgeable people
  8. So many people in such a wide variety of industries working & contributing to the greater good

Positive Experience

I hope there is always something special for me about sleeping late on a Saturday morning. When we were kids, Saturday was the one day of the week my parents didn’t have to wake us up; we got up of our own accord – and early – to watch Saturday morning cartoons! I still love cartoons, but they no longer hold the influence over me they once did. Of course, sleeping late is a relative term, isn’t it? There’s always the next thing to get done, and getting my day started always energizes me. I let it all slide this morning, and enjoyed the comfort of the comforter a little longer.

Creating Positive: Day 5 of 21

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Our first five days of the Dopamine Challenge are behind us, and I’m so curious to know how everyone’s doing! What are you noticing? Is it getting easier to look for the positive situations?

The Other Three

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. My parents are alive
  2. The solace of walking
  3. The healing power of an apology
  4. The satisfaction of a productive work week
  5. Bonnie Kate’s improvement
  6. Harry Potter audio books

Positive Experience

In retrospect, today’s experience would not have even made my short list yesterday. But today – today it’s different. I’ve always (with the understood exception between the ages of 12-18) been grateful for my parents, and like most kids, I assume they’ll always be here, ready to solve my problems, feed me, and answer my call when I come through the door. Talking with my mom and dad today was my not-so-subtle reminder that while I may expect all sorts of things from this life, particularly when it comes to my parents, I need to embrace with gratitude all that I have had up until now, and cherish each day, each conversation, and each memory.

Creating Positive: Day 4 of 21

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I am discovering that the things for which I am grateful multiply as I write down the obvious choices. I think it was Karen, who commented that once she starts writing down her gratitudes, she has a hard time stopping. Anyone else running into that same “challenge”? My wish is for each of you to experience that!

Since there are five things on our daily list for the 21 days, let’s have a reminder:

  1. 3 New Gratitudes
  2. One Positive Experience
  3. Exercise
  4. Meditate
  5. Random or Conscious Act of Kindness

Even though I’m only publicly sharing my gratitudes and my positive experience each day, I am happy to at least acknowledge whether or not I’ve accomplished all five items. This may help each of you to keep all five top of mind. So in the interest of full disclosure, and for accountability, my other three obligations:

  1. Exercise – done
  2. Meditate – done
  3. Kindness – done

Gratitudes

  1. Realizing, yet again, how small the world really is
  2. Filling a customer’s need
  3. Being business partners with my brother
  4. Knowing there are professionals available to us when we need their help
  5. Rain for replenishment of the earth
  6. Hearing Aviva say, “I love you, and I miss you!” as she squeezes my neck so tightly
  7. Possibility
  8. The wagging tail that welcomed me home, complete with licks
  9. Discovering similarities and interests with a new friend

Positive Experience

During our training session this morning, there was a reference made to a study by Accountemps, wherein it was discovered that executives spend – on average – 108 minutes sending emails each day. In contrast, a different report by the Productivity Institute suggests that the average working person spends less than 30 seconds a day in meaningful conversation with their children. I couldn’t find either of those studies online (I didn’t look very hard), but I did find a reference to a report by the Department of Education that says the average American mother spends less than 30 minutes a day talking to her children! And the average American father? Only 15 minutes.

Tonight my daughter and I watched, mesmerized, as the fog quickly approached and became heavier, sinking lower and lower to the ground. We could no longer see farther than a few feet in front of us, and the denseness of the space – once open – now trapped us, forbidding escape. Our single beam of light, bouncing back at us against the wall of clouds, proved worthless, as we had to rely solely on our other senses for direction. Razor, trusted pit-bull and fearless leader, vanished without a sound or a trace, swallowed up in the haze. Before we realized what had happened, we were thick in the midst of – you probably already guessed it – a zombie apocalypse!

The vast field was literally choking and crawling with the undead. How would we ever reach the other side undetected, untouched, and alive? Suddenly, as if the clouds themselves had birthed him, Razor – the Thunderous Destroyer – emerged in a burst of otherworldly energy! While the living dead shrank from his commanding presence, we made our daring escape to the safety of our own home sweet home, where we finished our conversation with a big hug, lots of giggles, and a sweet kiss goodnight.

Creating Positive: Day 3 of 21

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I’m grateful for all the continued chatter in various online venues to raise awareness of the Dopamine Challenge. I am also grateful for everyone reading and participating. Many of you aren’t sharing here with me, but be sure and keep a written record of your positive experiences and your new gratitudes each day. I welcome your participation anytime you want to share. And for those of you just now discovering our quest – start today! There was nothing magical about starting on February 13, except I had time over the weekend to gather my thoughts in preparation!

 

Gratitudes

  1. Cheryl shared with me another great TED Talk by Drew Dudley
  2. Sally illuminated for me a new definition of meditation
  3. Access to the cultural arts
  4. Having the capacity to perform acts of kindness
  5. Time and freedom to pursue personal interests
  6. Hearing from a sweet friend
  7. The value of talking with my daughter

Positive Experience

My positive experience took less than five minutes to transpire, but the result of a brief conversation on Twitter has filled my heart all day long. Yesterday I mentioned that for the purpose of this exercise, meditation is the most challenging for me. Today, my friend Sally reminded me “how often we trick ourselves into thinking we’re not doing something right just because others do it different.” Sally helped me see that meditation can be “presence in moment,” which she explained can be as simple as “Pausing, seeing, feeling, being at one with, carrying that with you and yes, gratitude – it’s definitely a method!”

Has anyone else experienced these beautiful moments of meditation? I am grateful to Sally for illuminating for me the possibilities of presence and meditation.

allarminda.com | 2024