Once upon a time a week ago we discussed the idea that goals exist to serve you and not, as is popularly thought, to cause guilt, consternation or overwhelm in your world.
In the past (that place Dr. Seuss so brilliantly describes as “the waiting place” in his classic, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!), you may have set a lot of goals, or a couple of doozies at a minimum, possibly even written them down and you certainly shared your objectives with at least one other person, then promptly didn’t achieve whatever you set out to do.
You may even have engaged in some self-talk:
- I’m no good at keeping goals
- I guess I’m not motivated enough
- I don’t know how to stay consistent
- I have a lot of good intentions
- I start off strong
- How do those “other” people do it?
- I wish I was more like _____________
- I guess I don’t have what it takes
- I’m going to finish that someday
Why does any of this matter?
Because when you commit to a goal and don’t achieve it you are cultivating self distrust.
Land squarely in that space in which you create goals because of what they do for you, and you’ll be ready to reset your relationship with yourself.
When you commit to a goal and keep it you are cultivating self trust.
The habit patterns you are building by keeping your commitments with you increase your capacity to make and keep the next commitment and the commitment after that.
I’m Not a Marathoner, BUT
Runners don’t start by running in a marathon; they gradually increase their capacity to run 26 miles, so by the time the day of the marathon arrives they know they can cross the finish line with confidence because they’ve been running the distance incrementally for months in advance.
- Build a relationship of trust with yourself step by step.
- Scale back your goals; set reasonable ones.
- Achieve one goal.
- Rinse, lather, repeat.
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every other relationship in your life.
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